The Unseen Visitor
Read slowly, aloud; about fifteen minutes.
Before you begin. This practice works with the feeling of being unseen and with an inner shadow. Do not use it if you have a psychotic illness, a dissociative disorder, or frequent feelings of unreality, except with a clinician; for many people with these conditions, the last part alone, the body forming, is the useful part. Never practise while driving or in or near water. Sit upright, feet on the floor.
How to return at any moment. Press your feet down, rub your palms together until they are warm, say your name aloud, and open your eyes.
Sit, and let the eyes close. Let the sense of the body grow light, lighter, until there is only awareness: no container, nothing contained.
Now walk, in imagination, through a place you know: a home, a workplace, a gathering. Walk as one walks in a dream. You see everyone. No one sees you.
Call out a name. Notice that no one turns. Reach towards someone. Notice your hand passing through. Notice what this feels like, the sting of not being seen. Name it quietly.
Breathe out.
Somewhere in that place there is a dark patch, a corner that daylight does not reach. Something lives there that you have been afraid of, or ashamed of. Approach it slowly, from your quiet awareness. Ask it: Which old wish shaped you? What did you want, long ago, that never ripened? Listen.
Notice that it is made of the same light as you, only folded tight. You were unseen for a while too. Offer it a little room. It does not have to change now.
Breathe out.
Now decide to be seen. Say inwardly: It is right that they should see me. Notice the people in that place turn, and look, and see you. Let yourself stand there, seen.
(Silence: one minute.)
Now let a body form, from within, by your own choice. Feel weight gather in the seat. Feel warmth in the hands. Feel the feet on the floor. Feel the breath moving the chest.
I will count from one to five. One: the body is here, heavy and warm. Two: the hands are your own; move the fingers. Three: the sounds of the room return. Four: a deep breath in, shoulders roll once. Five: eyes open, here, now, fully alert.
Say your own name aloud, and the day, and the place. Touch something solid. If you feel at all unreal, stand, walk, drink water, and count again.