Stopping the Runner
Read slowly, aloud or from a recording; ten to fifteen minutes.
Before you begin. This practice uses an inner landscape and the position of an observer to notice self-punishing worry. It is suitable for most adults. If you currently self-harm, have an eating disorder, or have a dissociative disorder, practise it only with a clinician. Sit upright in a chair, feet on the floor. Never practise while driving or operating anything.
How to return at any moment. Press your feet into the floor, open your eyes, and name three things you can see.
Close your eyes and breathe out slowly, three times.
Let a wide, empty landscape appear, at dusk. Flat, quiet, enormous. A single step here could cover a league.
Somewhere in it, far off, there is a runner. You are not the runner. You are watching from a safe distance, and you can watch as long as you like.
He is carrying clubs, many of them. Look at one. What worry is it? Name it quietly. Look at another. What does it say? Name it. You do not have to stop the blows yet. Only name them.
Notice the ground he runs over. A pit, dark and deep. A thicket that catches. A grove under moonlight where he rests and smiles for a while before running on. Where is he now?
Now, if you are willing, walk towards him. Slowly. Stand in his path and ask, kindly: Who are you, and why do you act in this manner?
He may say he is nobody. He may say you are his enemy. Let him. Whatever he answers, you stay.
If tears come, let them. If laughter comes, let it. Both belong here.
Look at one of his thousand hands. Let it open. Let the club fall onto the sand. That hand can rest now. It does not need to strike.
Sit down with him, there in the wilderness. Neither of you running. Breathe out. Nothing is chasing. Let the stillness be the shade.
Rest for several breaths.
Now let the landscape fade. Feel the chair under you, whole and steady. Feel your feet, both of them, on the floor. Your hands, warm and your own. Your whole body, here and intact.
I will count from one to five. One: breathe in deeply. Two: move the fingers and toes. Three: roll the shoulders. Four: lift the head. Five: eyes open, fully alert.
Say your name, today's date and where you are. Look around and name three things you can see. If you still feel far away, repeat the count, then stand and walk a few steps.