The Fixed Flame
Read slowly, aloud or from a recording; twelve to fifteen minutes. You will need a small bowl of cool tap water, not iced, within reach.
Before you begin. This practice teaches absorption analgesia: attention resting on a loved image until a mild sensation recedes. Choose a safe, healthy object of love: a person who is good for you, a place, a quality such as kindness. Do not choose someone you are in conflict with, someone who has harmed you, or someone you cannot have. Do not use this practice to ignore new, severe or unexplained pain; see a doctor first. If you have a dissociative disorder, a psychotic illness, or a history of feeling unreal or detached from your body, practise only with a clinician. Never practise while driving or operating anything. Sit upright.
How to return at any moment. Take your hand from the water, press your feet into the floor, count from one to five and open your eyes.
Sit and let the eyes close. Breathe out slowly, three times.
Bring to mind the one you have chosen. Let the face, or the place, appear. Do not force it. Let it come as it comes.
Rest your attention on it. The eyes. The light on it. The way it makes you feel.
Each time you breathe out, let it fill a little more of the field, until wherever you look inside, it is there.
You may notice your own person grow faint, as theirs grows clear. That is how the lovers described it: lost in the meditation of one another.
Now, without opening your eyes, let one hand rest in the cool water.
Notice the coolness. Then let your attention go back to the face, the place, the warmth. Let the water belong to the hand, and the hand belong to the shadow, and let your mind stay with what it loves.
The coolness is there. It need not reach you. You are sitting under a cloud that showers on you, cool and kind.
Rest here for several breaths.
Now ask the question the text asks: is this worthy of what I become by holding it? Let the answer come.
Say inwardly: Wherever I am, this returns when I call it.
Take the hand from the water. Dry it, and feel the hand fully again: its temperature, its weight, every finger. Let full, ordinary sensation return to the whole body: feet, legs, back, shoulders, hands.
I will count from one to five. One: the breath deepens. Two: feet press the floor. Three: hands move. Four: shoulders roll. Five: eyes open, fully alert.
Say your name, today's date and where you are. Name three things you can see. If anything still feels distant, repeat the count, stand, and walk a few steps before you go on with your day.