The Self-Guided Descent
Read slowly, aloud, in your own voice, leaving a breath between lines; twenty to twenty-five minutes. Record it and play it back if you wish. The voice that leads this trance is meant to be yours.
Before you begin. This is a self-hypnosis practice built on Uddālaka's own sequence: a longing, a seat, an inquiry, the breath of Om, a deepening, a rest, and a return. It is safe for most healthy adults. Do not practise it unsupervised if you have, or have had, a psychotic illness, a dissociative disorder, uncontrolled epilepsy, thoughts of ending your life, or trauma that still produces flashbacks; practise it with a clinician who knows your history. If images of fire, burning or death are difficult for you, wherever the text below says ash, read mist. If you are pregnant, or have uncontrolled high blood pressure, a heart or respiratory condition or a history of panic attacks, omit the breath-hold and simply pause naturally at the end of each out-breath. Never practise while driving, operating anything, standing, or in or near water. The breath-hold is gentle and never forced; if you feel dizzy, breathe normally at once. Sit, do not lie down, so that the body can tell you when it is time to return. Decide now how long you will rest in the silence: two to five minutes is plenty. If you like, set a soft chime.
How to return at any moment. If anything becomes uncomfortable, say aloud, "Breath coming back," take one full breath in, feel your feet, count up from one to five, and open your eyes on five. That is the whole of it. Nothing in the practice requires you to stay.
Sit down.
Before anything else, name what you want rest from. One word is enough. Say it once, quietly, and let it go.
Spread what you have under you, a folded blanket, a cushion, a chair. Sit as you would on leaves with a deerskin over them: supported, a little raised, nothing pressing. Let the spine rise. Let the face turn very slightly up, as if the ceiling held a little light. Let the hands rest, fingers free, as though they held beads they do not need to count.
Let the eyelids come half down. Not shut. Half. Let the eyes rest behind them, looking up a little, unmoving, as a lotus closes against the bees that go on buzzing outside. The thoughts can buzz. You do not have to open to them.
Breathe out.
Nothing reaches this room that you did not bring. No wind. The light is neither too hot nor too cold.
Breathe out.
All day the mind ran, out to things and back and out again, like a deer to the hunter's horn. You are not going to scold it. Scolding is wind against the rain. You are going to reason with it, gently, as the sage did, and let the reasoning do the quieting.
So ask.
This is the skin. Feel it where the air touches it, where the clothes rest, where the seat holds you. This is the skin. Is the one who says I in the skin?
This is the breath. Feel it leave, and feel it return without being asked. This is the breath. Is the I in the breath?
These are the bones, the long bones of the legs, the bowl of the hips, the stacked bones of the back holding you up without effort. Is the I in the bones?
This is the heartbeat, in the chest, perhaps in the fingers. It beats without permission. Is the I in the heart?
Listen for the word. I. In the ear it is a sound like any sound, and then it is gone. On the tongue it has no taste. Through the nose it has no scent. The eyes see without your telling them to. The hands can rest without it. Let the hands rest without you.
Breathe out.
Now the sound.
Take a slow, full breath in, and on the out-breath let a single syllable come, quietly, in your own pitch: Aaaaa. Let it ring like a bell rung once. Feel it in the skull, at the crown. Let the breath go out with it until the body is as empty as a sea drunk dry. Empty, easy, nothing left to hold.
And pause, where the out-breath ends. In that pause let the syllable change: Uuuuu, silent now, held in the stillness. The body is light as ash. The wind could lift it like morning mist. There is nothing to defend.
And breathe in, slowly, and let the third syllable fill the in-breath: Mmmmm, humming, cool. The breath rises to the full moon and comes back as one cool drop that falls on the ashes, and the body gathers itself around that drop, filling as a lake fills in spring, whole, bright.
And then the silence after the M. The half-measure. Rest there. There is nothing to do in it.
Again. A on the out-breath, emptying. U in the pause, light as ash. M on the in-breath, filling. And the silence.
Once more, slower. Out… hold… in… rest.
Now let the breath be ordinary again, and slow, and let each out-breath take you a little further down.
The senses draw in like the limbs of a tortoise. Sound is further away. Doubts rise, as they always do, like gnats, and the wind takes them. Let the wind take them.
The neck is straight as a mountain. The mind goes down into the cave of the heart, as an elephant is led into a mountain and lies down. Let it lie down.
Breathe out. Further.
If a light comes, let it come, and do not reach for it. If it goes and you feel restless, that is only the mind's old hunger; let it pass. If you feel dull and heavy-headed, that is only the middle stage; let a little clarity rise, as if a breeze moved the cloud, and the clear part comes back. If a blue field opens and fills with shapes, let them play and let them go. Each time you return, you return deeper. Each out-breath, deeper.
I am a lamp where no wind is.
I am a lake without a wave.
I am a cloud that has already rained.
I am not the skin, not the breath, not the bones. I am the one in whom these rest.
Rest here, for the time you chose. Let the limbs be heavy as they wish. Whoever comes to the door, plans, worries, the gods themselves, can wait there. You will know when it is time to come back. The body will tell you, and you will listen.
(Silence: two to five minutes, as agreed.)
Now the breath comes back, as the river came down from heaven, one cool drop at a time.
Let the in-breath grow fuller. Feel the body fill like a lake in spring: belly, chest, shoulders. The body is restored to its natural state, as the earth is after rain.
Feel the fingers. Move them. Feel the feet on the floor; press them down a little. Feel your weight on the seat. Let the neck be straight as Meru and the head balanced on it.
I will count from one to five, and on five the eyes open, clear and rested.
One. The breath is ordinary and full.
Two. The hands and feet are warm and your own.
Three. The sounds of the room return.
Four. Take one deep breath in, and let the shoulders roll once.
Five. Eyes open. Here. Now. Fully alert.
Sit a moment before you stand. Say your name aloud, and the day, and the place. Name three things you can see. If you feel at all slow, repeat the count from one to five, stand, walk a few steps, drink some water. Do not drive or operate anything for ten minutes.
Then go down the hill, as he did, and mix with the world.