Taking the Gem
Read slowly, aloud; about ten minutes.
Before you begin. A light reflective practice with eyes closed. Do not use it while driving or operating anything. If you are in acute crisis or have a history of psychosis, practise with a clinician.
How to return at any moment. Open your eyes, press your feet into the floor, look around the room. Nothing in the practice requires you to stay.
Sit, and let the breath find its own pace. Let the shoulders drop a little on each out-breath, and let the hands rest open on the thighs, palms up, as if they could receive something.
Recall something good that you worked for, and that finally came. A place, a person, a recovery, a piece of work. Let it come back.
Now let it appear before you as a gem, close enough to touch. See its colour. See how it holds the light.
And let the doubting voice speak, exactly as it does. Is it real? Is it really for me? What if I touch it and it goes? I am too small for this. Hear each sentence to its end. You do not have to obey any of them.
Notice where in the body the hand holds back. The shoulder, the wrist, the chest. Breathe into that place until it softens a little.
Now let the hand reach out. Let it close around the gem. Feel its weight, its warmth. Let it be yours.
Breathe out.
Look beside you. Is there a piece of glass you have been holding instead: a substitute reward, a harsh rule, a busyness? Set it down. You need not throw it away. Simply set it down.
Ask the gem one question: what are you, when you are nothing but the release of an error? Let one word or one image answer.
Bring the hand to the heart, and feel the gem's warmth there, as though it had always been in your keeping.
Now return. One: the breath deepens. Two: feel the feet and the hands. Three: the sounds of the room. Four: a full breath in, stretch a little. Five: eyes open, alert and steady.
Say your name, the day and the place, and name three things you can see. Sit a moment before you stand.