From Needle to Guardian
Read slowly, aloud; about fifteen to twenty minutes. Sit upright.
Before you begin. This practice works with a craving or a pain. If the pain is new, severe or abdominal, see a doctor first; hypnotic work does not replace diagnosis. If you have, or have had, an eating disorder, omit the craving section and use only the pain section, or use neither without a clinician. If you live with a dissociative or psychotic illness, practise only with professional support. Never practise while driving, operating anything, or in or near water.
How to return at any moment. Open your eyes, press your feet into the floor, say your name and the date aloud.
Choose a single point in front of you, a little above eye level, and rest your gaze on it. Let the breath slow. When the eyes wish to close, let them.
Let the craving, or the pain, take a shape. Do not choose it; notice it. Now let the shape shrink: mountain, tree, a person's height, a forearm, a hand, a finger, a needle. Notice, without judging, that the hunger inside it has not shrunk at all.
Breathe the needle inward, into the centre of the chest. Let it stand there on its one point. Sensation is noticed; it is not fed.
Now an offer comes, sweet and close, the way the dust of meat was blown toward her mouth. Feel its pull. You do not fight it. You simply do not swallow. Let it pass.
Rest where the wish to ask for anything falls quiet. Nothing to ask for. Nothing to refuse.
From here, ask the hungry part, gently: What could you guard? Wait. Let it answer in its own time. Agree on its work.
If there is pain, place a hand over the place that hurts and rub it slowly. See the pain gathered into a small dark figure and sent wailing beyond far hills. Then feel a cool full moon resting in the heart, its light spreading through the place where the hand is. Expect relief. Let it come at its own pace.
(Silence: one to two minutes.)
Now come back, as she was told to: stillness that is compatible with life.
I will count from one to five, and on five your eyes open.
One. Feel the weight of the body, its warmth, its hunger and thirst.
Two. Feel your feet on the floor and your hands where they rest.
Three. The sounds of the room return.
Four. Take one deep breath; stretch.
Five. Eyes open. Here. Now. Fully alert.
Say your name aloud, the day and the place, and name three things you can see. Drink some water. Then do one ordinary task with the stillness you brought back.