The Carcass and the Ground
Read slowly, aloud; about fifteen minutes.
Before you begin. This practice works with an image of something heavy and dead and with grief. Do not use it if you are having thoughts of death or self-harm; speak to a clinician first. Do not use it if you have a psychotic illness, an eating disorder or recent experience of violent death, except with a clinician. Never practise while driving or in or near water. Sit with your feet flat on the floor.
How to return at any moment. Press your feet down, say "Ground beneath me", take three full breaths, count from one to five and open your eyes.
Sit, and let the eyes close. Let the breath slow.
Somewhere in your life there may be a shadow that lies over everything, wide and unmoving. Notice where it falls.
Look up, gently, to see what casts it. Let it show itself as a great weight: an old self, an old bond, a life that has ended but still lies across the world. You may feel fear. Let the fear be there.
Now turn towards your oldest resource: the thing, the person, the faith or the quality you have trusted longest. Let it come to you, not hot but cool, like moonlight. Hear it say: Fear not.
Let it lift you. Rise with it, slowly, into the upper sky. Look down. From here, how does the weight look? Perhaps like wood. Perhaps smaller. Perhaps simply still. Notice.
Breathe out.
Now let a vast, quiet emptiness come near the weight, and breathe it in, breath by breath, as you watch from above. You do not have to do anything. Let it be taken in.
Some parts lie beyond your world, beyond your reach. Leave them there. They will dissolve of themselves.
Now let yourself grieve what was lost. Name the places, one by one: a home, a time, a face, a way of living. Say each name. Let it hurt as much as it hurts.
(Silence: one minute.)
Then look again. Watch what remains begin to change. Bones becoming mountains. Flesh becoming soil. What flowed becoming a sea. Let a new land take shape out of what fell. Let day and night return.
Come down now onto that land. Feel the ground under your feet: it holds you.
Let the breath grow fuller. Feel your weight on the seat.
I will count from one to five. One: the breath is full. Two: hands and feet are warm and your own. Three: the sounds of the room return. Four: a deep breath in, shoulders roll once. Five: eyes open, here, now, fully alert.
Say your name, the day and the place. Name three things you can see. If grief is still strong, do not carry it alone: tell someone today.